Just Stuff I'm Doing

So not only am I a crap blogger, I'm also bad at doing what I say I'm going to do.  I did NaNo, I won NaNo (for those of you unfamiliar with NaNo winning just means you wrote 50k words in November), I didn't however post my NaNo novel on Smashwords.  I had every intention of doing so but then I realized how rough my rough draft was.

I wrote the whole book, over 74k words in twenty days without going back to reread it and that is why there is no way I could let anyone read it before I get a chance to edit it.  So I'll get to editing it soon enough and start posting the shiny edited chapters for all you people that are reading this.

Okay so on another note, I got Loving Sarajevo edited and reposted.  I think it reads much better than it did before but what do I know...

I should have a chapter of The Heart Wants ready to go tomorrow.  I'm having a hard time getting back into it.  The home stretch is proving to be harder to write than I thought it was going to be but I'm going to push hard and hope to have it finished by the end of this month.  That's my goal for this month, to finish off The Heart Wants.

Anyway, I know that this is sort of a short post but just wanted to let you all know that I'm still pounding away at all my stories.

Until next time...

CL

It's in the Bag - A Loving Sarajevo Halloween Treat

As promised here's my little Halloween treat featuring Gage, Nikola, and Hana from Loving Sarajevo.  I hope you all enjoy it!

It's in the Bag

Nikola walked slowly down the street next to Gage.  The fallen leaves crunched under their shoes and there was a definite hint of the long winter to come in the air.  Nikola shivered because Gage hadn’t let him wear a coat.  He was sure that the three thermals under his costume were the only things that kept him from succumbing to hypothermia.  Nikola would suffer through it though because it was Halloween night and Gage was having the time of his life taking Hana from door to door begging for treats. 

Nikola reached up and scratched his head for the hundredth time that night – the temporary hair dye Gage had talked him into using was making his scalp itch.  Nikola decided that he really didn’t care for dressing up.  At least he’d talked Gage out of making him dress up as Dracula.  If he had to hear Gage beg him to say ‘I vant to suck yer blood’ one more time he’d kick the man’s ass.  Nikola swore his accent sounded nothing like the Count’s but Gage got a kick out of it none the less.

“Want to try this one, B?” Gage asked Hana who was walking at his side.

“Sure that looks like a good one,” Hana said eagerly.

Nikola snorted.  Hana thought every house looked like a good one.  Why wouldn’t she?  They all gave out candy by the handful.  Nikola followed them up the porch stairs.  Gage waited for Nikola to step up beside him before he rang the doorbell.

Nikola fidgeted while Gage stood with his bag positioned in front of him waiting for the unsuspecting homeowner to open the door.  It took only a moment, most people were ready and waiting to hand out their treats as quickly as they could so they could shut off their light and have some peace and quiet for the rest of the night.

The door swung open and an older lady stood there frozen in shock after just a glimpse of them.  Gage elbowed Nikola, “Trick or Treat,” they chorused.  Gage’s rendition of the phrase held much more pep than the lack luster version Nikola muttered out. 

Nikola waited for the inevitable to happen.  “Aren’t you boys a bit old to be trick or treating?” the lady asked as she took in the two giant Oompa Loompas on her porch.

Gage smiled as he said, “But I got all dressed up and I’m lugging around this huge bag.  It’s practically empty.  See?” he said as he pulled the bag open. 

The lady looked inside – they all did.  “Trick or Treat!” Hana yelled from inside the bag making the poor woman jump in surprise.  Hana giggled at her trick that kept on working.

“Oh my!” the woman exclaimed.  “That was some surprise.  You tricked me so I guess that means I have to give you a treat,” she said with a big smile at the little girl in the giant bag.  She reached into her bowl and brought out three full sized candy bars and put them in Hana’s bag.

“Wow thanks!” Hana said with big eyes for all that candy.

“Thanks,” Gage said, all puffy chested.  He was damn proud of himself and his crazy idea for Hana’s costume.

Nikola also thanked the lady before the three of them made their way down the stairs and back out onto the sidewalk.  Gage put his arm around Nikola’s waist immune to the stares they got from the other parents walking their own little ghosts and goblins around the neighborhood.  “See, we’ll have that bag full in no time and then we can go home and I’ll do exactly what I promised you I’d do if you dressed up with me,” Gage said.

“She gave me three big chocolate bars,” Hana said interrupting the images that had just started forming in Nikola’s mind.  She was looking into her bag, inspecting her haul not paying any attention to her babo and daddy.

“I know, that’s the third house in a row that’s given you extra treats.  Told you my idea would work,” Gage said with a wink.

Nikola shook his head.  Gage had come up with the idea for him and Nikola to dress up like they were the ones trick or treating.  It had also been his idea for Hana to go dressed as a giant trick or treating bag that Gage appeared to be carrying.  Gage had wanted to just tape a bunch of paper bags together but Hana had blanched at going as a brown paper bag for her first Halloween – she wanted to be Cinderella.  Gage’s mom had thought up a much better idea of making a decorated bag out of purple felt and glued on Halloween images.  The design had convinced Hana that being a bag was as good as being a princess plus she loved a good prank as much as Gage did.

Nikola scratched his head again.  “You’d better make good on that promise, this hair dye is eating my head and I’m pretty sure that orange isn’t my color,” Nikola complained while looking at his orange tinged hand.

“I told you I’d make sure every inch of your body is clear of green dye and orange paint.  I’ll keep my word… even if it takes all night,” Gage said.  His husky voice promised a long shower and much, much more when they got home. 

Nikola’s shiver had nothing to do with the chill in the air.  He decided that maybe dressing up wasn’t so bad after all.

Have a happy and safe Halloween everyone!

CL

EEK!! Who Knew One Person Could Get So Busy?!?

So like the title says:  Who knew one person could get so busy in such a short period of time?  I mean really, I went from having nothing to do but sit and write, to having a zillion and one things to do on any given day.  Admittedly, most of the things that I have to do are things that I've committed myself to so you could say they're self imposed so therefore I shouldn't complain.  I'm not going to complain but since I know some of you out there are actually waiting for me to get something written, I thought I'd give you all an update on all the stuff I'm doing right now since it mostly has to do with my writing.

First and foremost, as most of you who are following along know, I'm trying to find a publisher for Falling For Him.  So far I've gotten one rejection because the publisher doesn't publish fanfics (so not a fanfic but if they can't be bothered to do their research I'm not sure I want to publish with them anyway), one revise and resubmit (this is good because it means they're interested, the story just needs some tweaking), and I've yet to hear back from another.  So I'm still working on that, doing some editing and also tweaking so I can resubmit to the interested publisher.

Second and probably not something that anyone thinks is a priority, I've been doing an overhaul on Loving Sarajevo.  I decided that I really didn't like the story told from the first person point of view so I'm working on converting it to third person and also fixing some issues I have with it, both in the story and in some of the writing quirks I had when I first started writing.  All in the hopes that the end product will be something that I can maybe, possibly self publish in the near future.

Third and boring as all get out, I've been doing research on self publishing.  Although I feel like Falling for him is just as good as some of the dreck out there that I've read from the predominately M/M publishers, I have to have a back up plan in case I'm totally delusional.  That's why I'm thinking about self pubbing Loving Sarajevo as a sort of test, getting my feet wet so to speak.  There's a lot of work that goes into self publishing so if I go that route, I want to make sure I know what I'm doing.

Fourth and you guys are going to hate me for this, I have other stories that want to come out before the ones that I'm supposed to be working on.  I've said this before and it bares repeating - I can not control the voices in my head.  If I can't get one of my MCs from one of my current WIPs to talk to me their story doesn't get updated.  So although I've still been writing, there's been nothing for you guys to read.

Fifth and yes this one is something I want to do but will delay my updates another month or so, I've decided to do Nano this year.  I had two ideas running around my head and they won't leave me in peace to write anything else.  One was Spence's story, which would have involved Gage and Nikola's wedding.  The other is about Henrick, the twink that Gage met in Sarajevo, and a pro soccer player.  I decided to go with Henrick's story because Gage and Nikola's wedding is going to include the whole cast of characters that I've created so far and it will be a bit of an undertaking.  Anyway, I've decided to put my Nano Novel on Smashwords so you all can follow along with my progress if you want.  I'll update after Nov. 1st with a link to it for anyone that's interested.

So as you all can see I've been busy.  One of the ideas that wouldn't leave me alone, I blame the upcoming holiday for this one, was a short and by short I mean very short scene with my characters from Loving Sarajevo.  I had to write it out and I've decided since it's written, I may as well share it.  So if you're interested, stop by here on October 30th for a little Halloween treat.

That's all I have for now so until I post again... Thanks for stopping by.

CL

Busy, Busy, Busy

Okay so if you're following along, you all know what a crap blogger I am so I'm not even going to apologize (although I am sorry) or make excuses (vacation, unexpected hospitalization of a child).  I am however going to tell you all why my updates seemed to have dried up in the past couple of weeks.

I blame it all on Bronxwench.  Yeah, that's so not her real name but it's her fault all the same.  You see we were chatting the other day and she got it in her head to send me her publisher's information for submissions.  Then she stroked my ego a little and being the big attention whore I am, it worked.  Today I sent in my first submission to a real, honest to god publisher.

I've spent the last couple of weeks editing (why didn't you guys tell me that I use conscience instead of conscious?) and trying to write my first query letter.  I finally got the story spit shined to perfection and wrote the best query letter known to mankind.  Then I stuck it all in an email and cried for ten minutes while holding my finger over the mouse which was hovering over the send button.

Now, I know that if it gets rejected that it will really change nothing because, well, I'll just be right where I am now, right?  That's not so bad, I guess...  Everyone keeps telling me that a rejection is no big deal, it happens to everyone but it's still going to hurt to hear that my book's not good enough.  It's like my baby and nobody wants to hear that they have an ugly baby (mine were all gorgeous by the way).

So that's why I've been slow to update.  I have had little time to write or edit new chapters but that should change now that I've sent my baby off and out into the great wide world.  Cross your fingers for me and send me good thoughts.  I may need some comfort when I get the news so really nice, sweet, ego boosting reviews will be welcomed whole heartedly.

Just Because I Thought I Should

So I got an attack of conscience today and decided that I should try to update my blog.  I'm one of those people that feels bad when they say they're going to do something and then doesn't.  You know, like writing a blog for instance?  Though I'm pretty good about updating my stories regularly, the blog, well not so much.

It's not that I don't have anything to say, if anything there's just too much.  I could blabber on for pages and pages but really who wants to hear that much about anything I have to say?  So I get stuck for something I can talk about in a few short paragraphs and still make sense.  I tend to ramble.  No, really, I do.  (Count yourself lucky if you've never had to have an email conversation with me, yeah, it's that bad.)

So I was trying to think of something I could blog about so that it didn't look like I was being a total slacker on this end.  (I wrote three chapters for three different stories yesterday, I'm not slacking I promise!)  I wracked my brain and you know what?  Nothing.  I guess that doesn't say much for what's in my brain but seriously I need some inspiration that doesn't end in me starting another story.

Oh off topic for a second, (What?  There was a topic?  Did I miss something here?), I have a story that needs a title.  I left a little synopsis of it on my profile page under the 'Yet to be Published on FP' section.  If anyone has any ideas I'd do whatever you wanted for a good title. (Um... by that I mean like lots of thanks and credit for helping with or providing the title so don't get excited that you'd be getting an indentured servant for life or something.)

If you have any ideas feel free to PM me or I have a discussion thread in the AFF forums here  You don't have to be a member of the forums, though you do have to be over eighteen, to read or post your suggestions there.  I wish Fictionpress had a forum like AFF does because I do review replies for my stories on AFF in there and it's nice for the readers but there you go, me getting sidetracked.  Check it out if you want, that's all I'm saying.

Back on topic.  So since I have nothing to complain about, what do I write?  Hmmm, well... any ideas?  No?  See it's not so easy, is it?  Feel free to shoot me some ideas if you're good at blogging or even if you're not and just have a good idea for a post and I'll try it out.

Anyway, I know that this is a short post but I felt bad that I hadn't updated in a while so it's just to make me feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.  There I feel better, how about you guys?  No?  Well jeepers, I'll try harder next time, I promise.

See ya!

CL

Sequels or Why My Readers Are Going to Hate Me

So I'm assuming that if you're reading this there's a pretty good chance that you're familiar with my writing.  If not: What the hell are you here for?  Anyway if you are familiar with my writing then you've probably, most likely, read Falling for Him, right?  Good because this post is going to deal with the upcoming sequel to that story.

You see when Gavin and Lex first started jabbering at me, they were already together and it was around ten years after FFH took place.  They were all a flutter over this new woman in town that they just couldn't get out of their heads.  So I started writing their story but about six chapters in Gavin started telling this new woman about how he and Lex had gotten together.  Now I'm listening and thinking hell that would be a good story to tell because it's funny and interesting and just how the hell does a straight guy end up with another man?

So I put the first story on the back burner while I delved into finding out how a straight Gavin fell in love with the very flexible bisexual Lex.  The story tuned out to be fairly engaging and I was actually surprised at the level of feelings that were involved between the two of them.  They seemed pretty well matched and they are really sweet together.

Now I know that quite a few of you that read FFH are pretty dedicated slash readers.  You like your man on man action and get either squicked out or just flat out pissed when a woman is thrown into the mix.  But you see, Lex and Gavin are both bisexual, they like women too.  Yes they are happy together and maybe they could be enough for each other but if they both want something more, where's the harm in that?

In FFH I wanted to explore the notion that the gender of a person isn't the determining factor in if you can fall in love with them.  Gavin had never had feelings for another man nor had he ever been sexually attracted to one.  I know that people throw the word bromance around a lot and I wondered what would happen if these men that had these so called bromances threw out their fear of being labeled gay or what other people would think of them and actually had a relationship with another man.  I found out and Gavin found and fell in love with Lex despite the fact that he was a man.

So that brings me to why you, my dear readers, will hate me when I start rolling out the sequel.  The title is Falling for Her.  I know it's terribly original.  The title should give you a hint as to where the story is going.  The funny thing is that this is not the original story that's sitting at chapter six on my hard drive.  This is actually another back story.  I know right?  What the heck?  But when I went back to that first story I realized that the ten year gap would leave so many holes in the story that I had to write a third story.

I want to be clear here so there are no misunderstandings.  Falling for Her is a M/M/F story (it's different from M/F/M believe me you'll see).  It means there will be a woman added to their relationship at some point in the story.  As with all my stories there will be a slow build so there will be plenty of just Gavin and Lex moments and even after She joins in they will still be together.  I hope you won't view her as an interloper because she's going to fill a hole in the guy's lives and end up giving them one of the greatest gifts one human being can give another.  Just give it a chance, who knows, you may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm sure that I will have to fend off people who get upset at this turn of events.  To those of you that just can't stomach it; my advice to you is to just not read the sequel.  Let the story end for you where it made you happy.

Thanks for reading...

CL

The End of FFH

So today I posted the last chapter of Falling for Him or FFH as it's been known to be referred to.  It's one of those bittersweet moments that also makes me anxious.  I love that I've finished something but it's sad that it's over too.  I'll miss the anticipation of knowing what comes next just like all of you will.  That also brings us to why I'm anxious.

I usually don't agonize over my chapters.  I write them, I edit them, and I post them, what happens, happens.  I don't try to bend the story to my will.  (Oh come on I know I sound crazy but it's how writing feels to me.)  The last three chapters of FFH flowed out how they normally do but I knew that something was wrong...couldn't put my finger on it but it was there.

Now, I don't usually let anyone read my chapters before they're posted.  I guess I get the idea behind a beta reader and all, but it makes me nervous to have someone else try to put ideas into my writing.  It sounds selfish maybe but its mine.  Mine. mine, mine!  Yeah, I don't have any issues with sharing.  No it's just that I feel like I know when it's not coming from my head and then the story feels off to me.

That being said, I sent my last three chapters off to one of my regular readers and she read them.  Her advice was really helpful and getting the reader's point of view as to what they wanted to see was nice.  Here's the problem though...I knew how the story was supposed to go and I had a hard time adjusting that.  I ended up going with a couple of her suggestions that just helped make it read more fluidly but in the end I had to go with what I originally wrote.  There was a scene I took out that I ended up putting back in and there was the whole epilogue debacle...but that's a whole other story.

Anyway, the reason I was so anxious about posting the last chapters is simple.  Everyone hated how I ended Loving Sarajevo, the first time.  I ended up going back and adding chapters.  Of course after I did, I realized that the story was much more complete with the additions.  I really didn't want there to be disappointment over the ending of FFH since it is so far my most read and liked story.

The struggle for me is how to stay true to the characters and where the story is going without disappointing the bulk of my readers.  I guess it's probably a struggle a lot of writers go through so I'll just have to deal.  I just hope that the ending to FFH isn't so terrible that it leaves it's readers feeling dissatisfied.  I can only hope that the ending will hold up when all is said and done.

I loved writing Lex and Gavin's story and like I said before, there is a sequel.  FFH actually came about because Lex and Gavin were character's in another story and I just really liked their back story.  I decided to write it and I'm glad I did.  So I hope that you all enjoyed the journey and that you come away feeling like the story was complete.  Thanks for reading and thanks to those of you that shared your opinions with me.

I hope to have the sequel ready to post in a couple of weeks.

Okay, then, that's all for now.  So until next time...see ya.

CL

There's No Controlling the People in My Head

Okay, so I know that I shouldn't just write blog posts when I'm pissy but whatever, I need somewhere to rant.  So since I can't seem to actually blog about anything important, I figured why not just complain about what's bugging me?  So here it goes.

I've recently gotten some feedback from people that read one or more of the stories I have posted.  Like I mentioned last post, I love to hear from my readers but seriously telling me that I should be writing one story instead of another is not the type of thing I want to hear.  It is in no way constructive to tell me that one of my stories is far better than another of them and that I should spend less time on one or the other.  Let me explain to you why this doesn't motivate me.

I'm going to explain how my writing process works so bear with me here.  I write whatever pops into my head.  There that's it in a nutshell.  I have no control over what will come out most days and I've found that if I try to force myself to write a certain thing, it comes out bad.  Not just bad but like train wreck, rubber necking highway accident, Bush era natural disaster, where the hell's FEMA bad.  I'm not kidding.

This is because I have no control over the people in my head.  They are there doing what they want with no regard to anyone else.  I don't plan out my stories.  I have no idea where they're going most of the time.  I sit down and start typing, always in a new doc because I have no idea which story may pop up.  I'm not sure if that's how it's supposed to work or not but that's how it works for me.  So when I really want to update say Falling for Him and I sit down with the hopes of getting a chapter finished and my MC from Strip me Bare starts talking...what am I supposed to do?

Usually if I let one of them get it out of their systems, I can move on to something else but with no guarantee that it's going to be what I want.  Just a quick note, don't despair those of you hoping for Falling for Him updates, the story is complete and I'm just being mean by making you wait.  Cuz I'm evil like that.  Anyway you see my problem here then right?

So I get a couple of these types of messages every few days.  A sample of one verbatim if you will indulge me:  I just saw that you updated Strip Me Bare but Falling for Him hasn't been updated for over a week.  You used to update FFH more often but since you added a couple of other stories it's been less and less.  I think that you should concentrate on FFH because it is the best story you have and the others aren't as good.  I've been reading it from the beginning and I really like it so could you update it soon.

Now, just let me say that I'm glad that this reader has been reading and obviously enjoying what I've come to realize is my most popular story by far.  That being said, are you freaking kidding me!  This person never left me a review, ever.  I got this in a PM and after insulting me (yeah, I'm touchy what of it?) asked me to update soon with no please even!  That's just rude, sorry but it is and I'll call a spade a spade with no qualms about it.

So I get that people like to have quick updates and that they like to have a particular story updated more than another but come on, these are free stories that I spend time posting so they can read them at their leisure without getting anything in return.  Excuse me if I get a bit upset when people start PMing me this kind of bullcrap.  I'm not a machine, there's a person sitting here typing this and all those not so good stories that you still take the time to read, be nice.

If you don't like what I write, don't read it or feel free to tell me in a review that you don't like it.  I have no problem taking criticism or with people thinking my writing sucks even.  The problem I have is with people who think they are entitled to tell me how I should provide them with the fruits of my labor.  I will continue to post my stories because there are a few people out there that do like them and do show me that they appreciate what I do by leaving me nice reviews or PMing me to let me know they like what they read.

In the end, well just if you feel the need to send me a PM in the future like the one above, just know that I will block your ass, after I send you a few of my most choice thoughts on the matter.

Once again, thanks for checking out my blog and I have no idea what I'll rant about next time or when the next time will be so anyway, yeah, that's it.

CL

I'm a Crap Blogger

I told you so.  I knew when I started this that I'd be total crap at blogging.  You know why?  We'll I'll tell you why.  Because I have a life.  It may be a bit of a closed in small life but it's a life none the less.  When I have to prioritize my life blogging rates pretty low on the list.  So sorry to anyone that actually thought they may be able to get an update from me regularly.

So all this got me thinking about why I even started a blog that I knew I'd just let go by the wayside.  I wanted to write a blog to get people to go the the websites where I post the stories I've written so that more people would read them.  I'm an attention whore apparently...humm well that explains a lot.

Anyway it's not really working because most of the people that read this blog are actually following the link on my profile from one of the sites I want people to go to.  You all see the problem with that right?  *Bangs head on keyboard at the stupidity of it all.*

I have no idea how to get the word out about the blog or about my writing.  When I think about actually posting about my stories somewhere on another site for instance, The Slash Pile, I get a wave of nerves that my stuff isn't good enough. (Don't start in on the editing, I know they need some polish but I'm also lazy.  Would you rather have perfect punctuation or more story??)  I shouldn't recommend that people read my stuff.  Someone else should love my writing so much that they recommend it to others but since no one has then obviously it's not good enough.  Right?

See my dilemma?  I lack confidence in my skill and sites like Fictionpress don't help much since I know people are reading my story but few people bother to leave a comment on any of them. (I refuse to beg for reviews, it's undignified.)  Except Jester79, who unfailingly leaves me a review on every chapter so far and I love that...I love you Jester79!  Without that one review for each chapter, I'd give it up.

I have a couple of my stories posted on Adult Fan Fiction or AFF as it's known and my most popular story there has over 175 reviews while the same story on FP only has 77 as of today even though the stats tell me that far more people are viewing it on FP.  I'm lost as to what to do with myself sometimes.  I'd be happy for a couple of people to just tell me my writing sucks and to give it up because then at least I'd know what the heck was up. (Now don't you all line up to tell me I suck just because I said you could.)

Sorry I got off track there for a minute...I promise not to rant anymore about reviews and all that crap.

So where was I...Oh right, I'm too scared to toot my own horn because I'm afraid that my stuff is not up to snuff and people will be all like, "Dude, I wasted my time on that one!"  So I just let the people trickle in and read as they will.  I hope that the ones that do find my page like the stories that they find there and will maybe pass them on to a friend or two but if they don't *shrugs* not a lot I can do about that right?

So in conclusion this rambling post had only one point...I'm a crap blogger.

Next post:  Who knows when I'll be back to post again but I've decided that maybe if I just write rambling posts about whatever pops into my head, maybe I'll get better at blogging and do more of it.  Stay tuned...

So Finally a Post About My Writing

So here it is finally, a post about what this blog is actually supposed to be about.  If you're reading this most likely you know that I write stories because you've followed the link from Fictionpress and it brought you here.  I'm not really sure where I should start so since I have some time I thought I'd just put a brief summary of the works I have up right now and a short progress report.

Loving Sarajevo:  The story of Gage who is commitment phobic and who's boyfriend breaks up with him just before he has to leave on a business trip to Sarajevo.  Enter Nikola who's the opposite of every man that Gage has ever dated but might be just what he needs.

So far the story is complete but I've been toying with the idea of adding a couple more chapters.  If you've read the story and would like to give me some input on your feelings about additional chapters feel free to hit me up.  If you haven't read it and would like to check it out here's the link Loving Sarajevo


Falling for Him:  The story of Gavin who just went through a messy divorce.  His ex-wife harasses him and Lex is one of the cops that ends up having to file reports for Gavin.  Gavin and Lex end up in an unplanned threesome that leads to further involvement.

This is by far my most popular story so far, I'm not sure why.  I've posted eighteen chapters so far and I've got a few more to go.  I've been updating it pretty regularly and right now I'm in the process of editing the nineteenth chapter, it's not going as fast as I'd like.  I'm getting to a tricky juncture in the story and it's hard for me to figure out what I can cut without altering the story line.  If you'd like to check it out here's the link Falling for Him


The Heart Wants:  The story of Shane who's in college and thinks he's straight until one of his teammates catches his attention.  The teammate, Zeb has had a tough past and has problems connecting to others because of it.  Shane's roommate, Justin has a secret that he's been keeping from Shane for a long time.  It's a story of what happens when when love conquers all.

This is the hardest for me to write because it's from Shane's point of view only so we don't know what the other two MCs are up to when he's not interacting with them.  There's also a lot of drama but hey, they're young and that's how life is when you're that age.  If you'd like to check it out here's the link The Heart Wants


Strip Me Bare:  Is Erik's story, he's a little bit chunky and has a lot of attitude.  He's sick of not getting the type of guys he wants but when he meets his fantasy man in the flesh and he comes up short Erik has to rethink his idea of what he needs versus what he wants in a boyfriend.

This is a little different because I'm using a different writing style just to see if it works.  I'm not really sure how it's going, I've only posted two chapters so far and the response seems a little lukewarm.  Maybe Erik's a little annoying for some people.  You can check it out here Strip Me Bare

Okay so that's about it.  I have a couple of short stories also published on Fictionpress so feel free to check those out also.

Anyway, I always like to hear what my readers think so make sure if you have something to say that you drop me a line.

Also in case you were wondering my hubby is doing well.  He's actually having a second procedure done in the morning so do me a favor and cross your fingers that all goes well for him.

Until next time...

Sometimes Life Gets in the Way

So when I started this blog I had the best intentions.  I was going to use it to update my readers on my progress.  But sometimes life gets in the way.

On Wednesday my husband and I took off from home headed to Salzburg Austria.  It's an eight hour drive from our home here in Sarajevo.  It's no big deal for us, being from where we are in Minnesota, long drives like that are nothing.  We used to drive to the twin cities for a shopping trip and home in one day, that's over six hours, so you see it wasn't a drive that seemed like a big deal.  Well it turned into a big deal.

We were about an hour away from Salzburg when the hubby started complaining about a pain in his chest.  Well, he'd just scarfed down his lunch so I thought maybe he had indigestion.  I offered to drive but he said, no he was fine but really he wasn't.  We managed to get to the hotel, we checked in and he was still in a lot of pain.  When he told me that his teeth hurt that was it.  I told him we were going to the hospital.

Do you think he'd let me drive?  Of course not.  Thankfully we made it there in one piece.  Now I'm not sure if you've ever been in an emergency situation in a foreign country but if you haven't let me tell you, it's an experience.  We had no idea what the system was like, where did we go, who were we supposed to talk too?  We were lucky that Salzburg is a huge tourist town so everyone spoke English.  If not for that I'm sure that I would have been curled in a ball in the corner crying.

They took him in right away and after an hour of sitting there in the hallway waiting with no word, they finally came to get me.  He'd had a minor heart attack, they said.  They took us to another building to the cardio cath lab.  Another hour of sitting alone in a hallway and they took us to the cardio intensive care unit.  I had no idea what was going on.  Nobody explained anything to me, just showed me into his room and left.

He was feeling pretty good.  I was surprised after all that that he was sitting up and told me he was fine.  He was worried about how I was going to get back to the hotel.  He knows that I don't like to drive in places I'm not familiar with and get nervous about getting lost.  We discussed leaving the car in the parking garage at the hospital but the nurses told me it was very expensive.  I assured my hubby that I would be able to find the hotel just fine.  I had to leave because it was past visiting hours.  They told me I could come back at 14:30 the next day.  I had no idea how I was going to pass all that time alone.

I kissed my hubby and left.  I got lost.  My fifteen minute drive to the hotel took me over an hour.  I'm proud to say I didn't cry or even get upset at being lost.  Normally I'd have pulled over and freaked out, then looked for the nearest gas station so the attendant could call me a taxi.  Instead I drove aimlessly until I found the signs pointing to the airport, which my hotel was conveniently located near.  Having just realized that life was short and anything could happen and it would be over just like that put my little adventure into perspective for me.

I have to say that the hotel staff was great.  They bent over backwards to make sure that I had a room even though I didn't have a reservation past the one day we'd originally planned to stay there.  They offered to help me in any way they could.  I have to say that the staff at the Star Inn, Salzburg went above and beyond to accommodate me.  I had to give them a shout out for all their help.

So anyway, my husband is fine even though I learned that his heart attack wasn't as minor as they first told me.  He had a stent put in and needs further care for another artery that is a ticking time bomb.  I'll make sure that he's taken care of though, it's my job you see, to take care of the ones I love.  It doesn't pay much but the job satisfaction is tremendous.

So when all is said and done, my writing and my blog may have to take a back burner to my life for awhile but that's okay because somethings are just more important.

Please Excuse Me I'm Old School...

Maybe you can tell, I'm new to the whole blogging thing.  I have a confession to make.  I'm new to all of this.  Not just the blogging.  Sure I've had a computer and a connection to the internet since 1997.  Don't believe me?  I can prove it.  I still have and use my original AOL email address.  Yep you heard me, I. Still. Use. AOL.

I get unlimited amounts of groans from my two teenage sons every time my computer blurts out "You've got mail."  It's always greeted with giggles and jeers from one kid to the other of "Your mama's so old she still uses AOL."  I don't let it bother me because I like AOL, it's familiar, it works for what I need it to and I can remember my email address and password.

Up until a couple of months ago, I just used my computer to look at Facebook, get book recommendations on Goodreads and Google random facts (seriously random, like when did the first Nintendo Gameboy come out and what was it's original cost?).  Then of course I started writing and remembered that I'd read a few unpublished books on websites like Fictionpress.

I decided to start posting my writing on Fictionpress,  That was an experience all it's own but I managed it without once having to ask even my eight year old for help.  There were a few bumps but overall I have to say I did fairly well.  Then as I started looking at what other people were doing, mostly promoting their stories on other sites, I started to look into all the ways people connected and shared things on the internet.

Now don't laugh...I had no idea what LightJournal, Tumblr, or any of those other sites like them were.  I have heard of twitter but my kids gave up trying to explain to me what the hell the whole hashtag thing was all about, even going so far as to post a status on facebook with #mymomisacluelessnoob.  I'm still confused as to what that's all about but maybe someday they'll come out with an old people's handbook for twitter and it will explain it in old school English that I can understand.

So what?  You ask.  What does this have to do with anything?  Well I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have no clue as to what I'm doing.  I just read somewhere that if you want to get your name out there and get people to actually read what you've written you have to have a blog.  You have to get people to read your blog (no idea how I'm supposed to do that),  

I even Googled 'how often should I update my blog' to see because I have no clue about blogging.  I almost got sidetracked by the second option on Google which of course was 'how often should I poop' but I managed to stay on track and found that some people blog everyday!  No way you're getting me to do that, what the heck would I say?  So what you can take away from that information is that I have no schedule.  I'll blog whenever the urge strikes I guess.

Also there will be no theme for this blog.  It will probably be random stuff for the most part because that's just who I am.  Of course I'll use it to keep my FP readers updated on my current writing but that would take exactly two sentences and make for some pretty dry reading.

Anyway, I'll be here rambling about something if you're interested.

Next Blog post:  I'm going to have brief summaries of the stories that I have posted on FP and maybe some progress reports.  (See I've already got a plan, go me!)

So this being my first post, I figured I should probably introduce myself and maybe explain the name of my blog so nobody calls the men in white to take me away.

So a little about me, I'm an American originally from the great state of Minnesota but I currently live in Sarajevo, BiH.  I'm happily married and have four sons.  I like to read and write and an occasional glass of red wine.

I recently started writing.  My stories are of the M/M romance genre but most of them have to do with the fluidity of sexuality.  I like to explore the notion that sometimes it's not the sex of the person so much as it is the actual person that we fall in love with.  If you're interested in reading anything I've written you can find the stories here https://www.fictionpress.com/~clmustafic

So then here's a little more about me to help you understand why I decided to start writing.  Ever since I was a little kid, I'd make up stories in my head.  Most of the time it was just because I was bored.  I did it everywhere.  I'd tell myself stories while I was getting ready for school, eating,  going to school, studying, swimming and sometimes even when I was reading another story (the authors never gave me enough, I had to add on).

I have a very active imagination.  It continues to keep me entertained even to this day.  Of course my school days are behind me now so the stories now accompany me while I do dishes and wash laundry.  I'm a wife and mother now but my kids are all in school so that leaves me with a lot of time to fill.

A few months ago I decided that I'd try to write out some of the stories that were entertaining me and see if they could entertain anyone else.  Hence this blog.  So far I've been busy tapping away on my keyboard for as long as the people in my house will allow.  Between the actual people in my life and the ones in my head, I'm a very busy person.

So that's where the Living With the People in My Head title comes from.  I have so many different people clomping around up there that sometimes it feels a little too crowded.  I've found that when I get them out on the page they quiet down some, not needing as much attention from me.  At first that discovery made me do a little jig (woohoo, a little peace and quiet up there) but I soon realized that for everyone I evicted, it seemed that two more moved in.

I'm not sure that I'll ever get them all out but I guess I'll die trying.