So today I posted the last chapter of Falling for Him or FFH as it's been known to be referred to. It's one of those bittersweet moments that also makes me anxious. I love that I've finished something but it's sad that it's over too. I'll miss the anticipation of knowing what comes next just like all of you will. That also brings us to why I'm anxious.
I usually don't agonize over my chapters. I write them, I edit them, and I post them, what happens, happens. I don't try to bend the story to my will. (Oh come on I know I sound crazy but it's how writing feels to me.) The last three chapters of FFH flowed out how they normally do but I knew that something was wrong...couldn't put my finger on it but it was there.
Now, I don't usually let anyone read my chapters before they're posted. I guess I get the idea behind a beta reader and all, but it makes me nervous to have someone else try to put ideas into my writing. It sounds selfish maybe but its mine. Mine. mine, mine! Yeah, I don't have any issues with sharing. No it's just that I feel like I know when it's not coming from my head and then the story feels off to me.
That being said, I sent my last three chapters off to one of my regular readers and she read them. Her advice was really helpful and getting the reader's point of view as to what they wanted to see was nice. Here's the problem though...I knew how the story was supposed to go and I had a hard time adjusting that. I ended up going with a couple of her suggestions that just helped make it read more fluidly but in the end I had to go with what I originally wrote. There was a scene I took out that I ended up putting back in and there was the whole epilogue debacle...but that's a whole other story.
Anyway, the reason I was so anxious about posting the last chapters is simple. Everyone hated how I ended Loving Sarajevo, the first time. I ended up going back and adding chapters. Of course after I did, I realized that the story was much more complete with the additions. I really didn't want there to be disappointment over the ending of FFH since it is so far my most read and liked story.
The struggle for me is how to stay true to the characters and where the story is going without disappointing the bulk of my readers. I guess it's probably a struggle a lot of writers go through so I'll just have to deal. I just hope that the ending to FFH isn't so terrible that it leaves it's readers feeling dissatisfied. I can only hope that the ending will hold up when all is said and done.
I loved writing Lex and Gavin's story and like I said before, there is a sequel. FFH actually came about because Lex and Gavin were character's in another story and I just really liked their back story. I decided to write it and I'm glad I did. So I hope that you all enjoyed the journey and that you come away feeling like the story was complete. Thanks for reading and thanks to those of you that shared your opinions with me.
I hope to have the sequel ready to post in a couple of weeks.
Okay, then, that's all for now. So until next time...see ya.
CL
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